Love all of this, Holly. I am seeking something similar. I have been out of the brown room for a long time, but am currently looking for that perfect balance of purpose, curiosity, and thoughtfulness of which you speak (and that seems elusive in middle age). I'd love to hear the second story of how you found it! Also, cereal milk is a total life hack. Well done.
Thanks Ingrid! I love that you totally get the brown room and the searching vibe. Any chance you're coming up to Vancouver for the Writers Fest in October?
OMG, I just saw this! Sadly, I am not. Vancouver is still high on my list. This October I am headed to the WFWA retreat in Alexandria. My first retreat! Excited and a little nervous. I'll make it to Vancouver soon, I hope!
That sounds amazing! I’ve been looking into retreats too, but I’m not sure I can make it happen anytime soon. I just heard that Elizabeth Gilbert is doing a two-day workshop in Vancouver next May, so I might do that!
Oooh! I have so many thoughts! So much good stuff here.
I started my one and only corporate health care job just as the pandemic hit - we opened our clinic in January 2020 and went virtual for three months beginning in March.
I was so fortunate to be able to coach people not just on specific health-related topics like diabetes and weight, but also stress management, mindfulness, and work-life balance. That first year my schedule was jammed packed with patients trying to figure out how to bridge their work lives and their 'real' lives.
One of the tiny things I started doing was referring to it as 'life-work' balance as a way to emphasize the real constant - life - instead of the subconscious reflex of putting work first. It was so cool to walk with people through the crunchiness of discovery, to watch them better align with their values as they reclaimed parts of themselves they'd lost to 'the job'.
One of the best things to come out of the pandemic in my view has been the shift towards a fuller expression of what a well-lived life really is. A move for many away from reflexive consumerism, towards creative pursuits and more meaningful connections.
"A fuller expression of what a well-lived life really is" - yes, exactly! I love seeing more people thinking deliberately about this lately. And I'm pretty sure you need to write an essay called "The Crunchiness of Discovery" - best phrase ever.
Gosh, I love that Kathleen - life-work balance instead. It's amazing how a small semantic change can shift our thinking and then our actions. I might try this out in my office! Totally agree on the silver lining of the pandemic. I can't think of a single friend who hasn't paused to reevaluate what they want from life as a result.
“And it started with understanding myself and how I wanted to feel.” Mmmm 😌 I swear I am not usually much of a commenter but your last few pieces have me doing so much nodding and finger snaps so here we are.
Thank you so much! It's awesome to have an across-the-world kindred spirit. I do feel like I'm on a bit of a roll lately! I joined a writing group a few months ago and it's really given me a boost.
This is freaking brilliant Holly. I've never thought of how work/life balance is framed, as if work is one thing and then actual life exists in some alternate plane of existence. Kind of mind blowing actually, how we're taught to suit up for the work part of our life and then shed that part when we go out into the rest of the world. Blending it all together into a swirl that actually honors our humanity feels so much more realistic and true. My life lately feels like so much more of a swirl, but I love the idea of actually monitoring those three parts--work, love, and self understanding--to make sure there's enough of everything mixed in.
Thanks for putting this new perspective out there Holly (nice to see a namesake!), it really resonates with me. I've been in a similar space on noticing the misalignment between my values and my daily life, but I'm making steady progress towards realigning as I gradually shift my career path. Looking at things through a work, love and self-understanding lens will be really helpful I think!
Amazing how many Holly-friends I'm finding on Substack! Thank you for commenting. I'm happy to find so many people who are contemplating the same things about life. And I love people like you who are actively noticing in their lives.
You're welcome Holly. It's almost like there's a little revolution going on isn't it? And luckily for us, our peers have found their way to Substack and are sharing their wisdom along the way! 💖
Love all of this, Holly. I am seeking something similar. I have been out of the brown room for a long time, but am currently looking for that perfect balance of purpose, curiosity, and thoughtfulness of which you speak (and that seems elusive in middle age). I'd love to hear the second story of how you found it! Also, cereal milk is a total life hack. Well done.
Thanks Ingrid! I love that you totally get the brown room and the searching vibe. Any chance you're coming up to Vancouver for the Writers Fest in October?
OMG, I just saw this! Sadly, I am not. Vancouver is still high on my list. This October I am headed to the WFWA retreat in Alexandria. My first retreat! Excited and a little nervous. I'll make it to Vancouver soon, I hope!
That sounds amazing! I’ve been looking into retreats too, but I’m not sure I can make it happen anytime soon. I just heard that Elizabeth Gilbert is doing a two-day workshop in Vancouver next May, so I might do that!
Oooh! I have so many thoughts! So much good stuff here.
I started my one and only corporate health care job just as the pandemic hit - we opened our clinic in January 2020 and went virtual for three months beginning in March.
I was so fortunate to be able to coach people not just on specific health-related topics like diabetes and weight, but also stress management, mindfulness, and work-life balance. That first year my schedule was jammed packed with patients trying to figure out how to bridge their work lives and their 'real' lives.
One of the tiny things I started doing was referring to it as 'life-work' balance as a way to emphasize the real constant - life - instead of the subconscious reflex of putting work first. It was so cool to walk with people through the crunchiness of discovery, to watch them better align with their values as they reclaimed parts of themselves they'd lost to 'the job'.
One of the best things to come out of the pandemic in my view has been the shift towards a fuller expression of what a well-lived life really is. A move for many away from reflexive consumerism, towards creative pursuits and more meaningful connections.
"A fuller expression of what a well-lived life really is" - yes, exactly! I love seeing more people thinking deliberately about this lately. And I'm pretty sure you need to write an essay called "The Crunchiness of Discovery" - best phrase ever.
Gosh, I love that Kathleen - life-work balance instead. It's amazing how a small semantic change can shift our thinking and then our actions. I might try this out in my office! Totally agree on the silver lining of the pandemic. I can't think of a single friend who hasn't paused to reevaluate what they want from life as a result.
“And it started with understanding myself and how I wanted to feel.” Mmmm 😌 I swear I am not usually much of a commenter but your last few pieces have me doing so much nodding and finger snaps so here we are.
Thank you so much! It's awesome to have an across-the-world kindred spirit. I do feel like I'm on a bit of a roll lately! I joined a writing group a few months ago and it's really given me a boost.
This is freaking brilliant Holly. I've never thought of how work/life balance is framed, as if work is one thing and then actual life exists in some alternate plane of existence. Kind of mind blowing actually, how we're taught to suit up for the work part of our life and then shed that part when we go out into the rest of the world. Blending it all together into a swirl that actually honors our humanity feels so much more realistic and true. My life lately feels like so much more of a swirl, but I love the idea of actually monitoring those three parts--work, love, and self understanding--to make sure there's enough of everything mixed in.
Thank you so much, Melissa! Yay for living in the swirl instead of in the binary. I'm loving your writing too - so glad we found each other on here!
Me too!!
Thanks for putting this new perspective out there Holly (nice to see a namesake!), it really resonates with me. I've been in a similar space on noticing the misalignment between my values and my daily life, but I'm making steady progress towards realigning as I gradually shift my career path. Looking at things through a work, love and self-understanding lens will be really helpful I think!
Amazing how many Holly-friends I'm finding on Substack! Thank you for commenting. I'm happy to find so many people who are contemplating the same things about life. And I love people like you who are actively noticing in their lives.
You're welcome Holly. It's almost like there's a little revolution going on isn't it? And luckily for us, our peers have found their way to Substack and are sharing their wisdom along the way! 💖